I am a person who does not hide the fact that I can’t do “it” alone – that “it” may be anything – I use recipes to cook (on those rare occasions when I do cook…), I need instructions to put the simplest things together (don’t even get me started on IKEA furniture) and I’m well-known for uttering the words, “I’ll google that”.
One thing I definitely think warrants getting help with is coping with life’s stressors. I appreciate that the idea of getting help from a psychologist or psychiatrist or other counsellor is not something everyone readily thinks of doing. Many people feel confident in their own ability to cope with whatever life throws their way or they feel that it is a sign of weakness to seek the counsel of others, specifically professional others, to “deal” with life.
I do not think that way. I think that it is beneficial to have someone outside of your immediate circle to help you navigate the path that is life. I have amazing friends and a ridiculously supportive husband and children. Yet, I don’t want to create “fatigue” – support fatigue specifically among those people. How many times can I tell my husband about that person who drives me crazy? Or that issue with the neighbour….for the millionth time?
I recently was dealing with a stressful situation and quite frankly I was tired of hearing myself speak about it, dwell on it, reflect on it, WHINE and COMPLAIN about it. I needed to make a change, but I wasn’t sure how. It was my doctor, a first year resident, who said, you need to talk to someone. And I took her advice.
Today, I said goodbye to that “someone”, after a few months of occasional chats, we seem to have run out of things to talk about. The best part of the experience was that I solved the problem that brought me to her doorstep; she had listened and reflected back what she heard. She told me some sage advice, but not about how to solve the problem. Rather, she told me what I should see in the situation, both about myself and about the other person. She also told me what the resolution of the problem would mean to me going forward, not something I had considered.
So, here’s my advice: get advice. Find someone to talk to because what’s bugging you may be undermining much more than you know. And to have someone listen, even if they are paid to do that, is okay. It’s more than okay: it might be just what the doctor ordered.